sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
