she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize