You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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