Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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