the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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