no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
