I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
