The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
BRING THE BAGELS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
