question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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