I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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