i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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