I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
