People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
