did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
