well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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