ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
