Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
