I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize