It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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