windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
