break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm too high and old for this...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
