I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We got so high we made milksteak
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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