I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize