I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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