Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Everclear isn't food dammit
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
