Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Be still, my beating vagina.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
