I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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