Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
