Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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