Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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