He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
