Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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