I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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