24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
