im drinking this country out of the recession.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
