We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
