This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
