I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
