I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
