Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize