I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
