We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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