last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize