love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
