i think i have herpe
just one?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I did not marry a roomba.
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