I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
