sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
