The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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