I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize