Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
