i was born a porn star she said
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
