I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this just has baby written all over it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
