hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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