So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am available for nakedness
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
