that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
