So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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