Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm at about main and main street
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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